I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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