I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
PS: I just woke up from my shower
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
