Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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