Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
