Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize