I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
