Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
