I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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