when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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