Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize