If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
He kissed a someone with a penis
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I need to wash the frat house off of me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
