I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Randomize
