Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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