yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
