I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Randomize