Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
