OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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