I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
