I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
