I hate all girls vehemently.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
