I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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