so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
