So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize