Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
