Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
