I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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