I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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