Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize