Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize