She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
