where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize