i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just threw up on my dentist
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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