My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
