idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
