Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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