The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
