FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize