i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Randomize
