Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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