Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize