There was a lot of him and a little penis
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
