No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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