Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
