She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
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I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
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The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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