So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
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I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
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The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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