Sry I called you an 8
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize