five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
