I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
