I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
