it's like iHOP with fire
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
