where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize