Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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