Pappa wants mamma naked
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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