Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just pee around me
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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