Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
