Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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