Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
